Ever found yourself making excuses for a friend who keeps hurting you?
You tell yourself they didn’t mean it, that they’re just going through a phase, or that all friendships have ups and downs.
But deep down, you feel it; something has shifted.
The laughter isn’t the same, the trust isn’t there, and you walk away from every conversation feeling drained instead of valued.
Friendships aren’t meant to be perfect, but they should feel safe, supportive, and mutual.
If you’re constantly questioning where you stand, making all the effort, or walking on eggshells, you might be holding onto a friendship that has run its course.
The truth is, not everyone who starts the journey with you is meant to stay.
Some friendships expire, and that’s okay. The key is knowing when to let go.
By the time you finish reading, you’ll recognise the red flags that show it’s time to move on, so you can protect your peace and make room for people who truly deserve a place in your life.
1. They Only Reach Out When They Need Something
Friendship should be built on mutual care, not convenience.
If someone only reaches out when they need a favour, money, or emotional support but disappears when you need them, it’s a sign of a one-sided relationship.
Real friends don’t just show up when it benefits them, they check in because they genuinely care.
Think about it. Do they remember your birthday? Do they ever ask how you’re doing without leading into a request?
If every conversation feels transactional, then what you have is not a friendship but an arrangement.
You deserve connections where you are valued, not just useful.
2. They Undermine or Belittle You
A true friend is your cheerleader, not your critic.
If they constantly make sarcastic remarks about your choices, downplay your achievements, or mock your struggles, that’s not humour, it’s a pattern of disrespect.
Pay attention to how they react when you share something important.
Do they brush it off? Change the subject? Make a snide remark that leaves you questioning yourself?
A friend who belittles you isn’t challenging you to be better, they are chipping away at your confidence.
Real friendships empower, not erode, and offering support is one of the most effective tips to maintain a strong relationship with people.
If someone makes you feel small, ask yourself why you’re keeping them in your life.
3. They Never Apologise or Acknowledge Their Mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes, but not everyone takes responsibility.
If your friend refuses to acknowledge when they’ve hurt you, twists the story to make themselves the victim, or makes you feel guilty for addressing your concerns, they are prioritising their ego over your feelings.
A healthy friendship is built on accountability.
It’s not about being perfect, but about caring enough to make things right when you mess up.
If someone continually dismisses your feelings or makes you question your reality, that’s a sign they don’t respect the relationship.
A friendship without respect cannot thrive.
4. They Make Everything About Themselves
Friendship should be a balance of give and take.
If every conversation revolves around their problems, their achievements, and their drama, with little regard for your thoughts or feelings, you are not in a friendship, you are providing free emotional labour.
Do they ever ask how you’re doing without interrupting to bring the focus back to themselves?
Do they remember the details of your life, or do they only engage when it suits them?
A friend who never makes space for you in the relationship isn’t a friend at all.
Your voice deserves to be heard.
Talking to a friend who listens to you and understands you can be an effective daily routine for success and happiness.
Surround yourself with people who truly listen and care about what you have to say.
5. They Disrespect Your Boundaries
Friendship flourishes in mutual respect.
If someone repeatedly ignores your boundaries, whether it’s pressuring you into things, sharing personal information you trusted them with, or making you feel guilty for saying no, that’s a clear sign of disregard.
A friend who values you will respect your limits without question.
They won’t guilt-trip you, mock your boundaries, or make you feel like you’re overreacting.
If someone continues to violate your comfort despite your clear communication, they aren’t prioritising your well-being, and that’s not the kind of person you need in your life.
6. They Talk About You Behind Your Back
Few things hurt more than realising someone you trusted has been speaking negatively about you.
A friend who gossips about you to others, reveals your secrets, or twists your words when you’re not around is breaking the most fundamental rule of friendship: loyalty.
A person who truly values your connection will protect your name in rooms where you aren’t present.
If you hear from others that they’ve been badmouthing you, that’s not just betrayal, it’s proof that they don’t respect you.
Your trust is valuable. Don’t waste it on someone who can’t honour it.
Cutting off toxic friendships is also one of the sure ways to self realization.
7. They’re Never Happy About Your Success
A true friend celebrates your wins as if they were their own.
If they react with jealousy, passive-aggressive comments, or indifference when you achieve something great, that speaks volumes about their character.
Friendship isn’t a competition.
A friend who secretly wants you to fail or downplays your achievements is not a friend you can build a future with.
Your victories should be met with support and encouragement, not resentment and comparison.
Find friends who genuinely clap for you. Anything less is not worth keeping.
8. They Make You Feel Drained Instead of Supported
Friendships should bring joy, not exhaustion.
If every interaction leaves you feeling emotionally depleted, stressed, or anxious, that’s a major red flag.
Toxic friendships often feel more like obligations than connections.
If you feel relieved when they cancel plans or find yourself avoiding their calls, ask yourself why.
A friendship should add value to your life, not take away from it.
Your peace is priceless.
If you suffer from insomnia, staying away from anxiety-inducing people and situations is one of the best ways to improve your sleeping habits.
When someone consistently drains your energy, it’s okay to let go.
9. They Exclude You or Make You Feel Left Out
No one should feel like an afterthought in their friendship.
If they repeatedly leave you out of plans, inside jokes, or important conversations, they are showing you where you stand in their life.
A friend who values you will make an effort to include you, not just when it’s convenient but because they genuinely want you there.
If you constantly feel like you’re fighting for a place in their world, maybe it’s time to stop fighting.
True friends make you feel wanted, not like an outsider.
Choose the ones who choose you.
10. You No Longer Feel Like Yourself Around Them
Perhaps the biggest red flag of all is when you start losing yourself in an attempt to maintain the friendship.
If you find yourself walking on eggshells, suppressing your true opinions, or pretending to be someone you’re not just to keep the peace, then the friendship is no longer healthy.
A good friend accepts you as you are, flaws and all.
Complete and unbiased love is not only one of the signs of a selfless person, it is also an indicator of a true friend.
They don’t make you feel inadequate or like you have to perform to be accepted.
If a friendship requires you to shrink, contort, or constantly prove your worth, then it is not a safe space for you.
Real friends make you feel free to be yourself. Anything less isn’t worth holding on to.
Closing Thoughts
Friendships should be sources of joy, support, and genuine care.
If you recognise any of these red flags in your relationships, it’s time to reflect on whether these connections nourish or drain you.
Prioritise friendships that respect your boundaries, celebrate your growth, and make you feel valued.
Letting go of toxic or unfulfilling friendships may be difficult, but it creates the space you need for deeper, more fulfilling connections.
Remember, you deserve friendships that uplift and empower you.
Trust yourself, let go of what no longer serves you, and open the door to relationships that align with your well-being.
